Sale items do funny things to me. I'll buy shoes that I don't need*, sweaters I probably won't wear, and justify any jewelry purchase** during a sale. I once ended up with a cupboard-full of garbonzo beans just because they were on sale.
(Little side note here, I had a hard time remembering Almonzo's name from 'Little House On The Prairie' so in my head I always secretly called him Garbonzo. Half-Pint and Garbonzo... lots of protein there.)Anyway, back to sales. I bring this subject up because I recently learned the power of a discounted item, albeit a 4,500 square foot discounted item.

It kind of dwarfs the neighbors.
I'd seen this house a few times in the real estate section and wondered what in the world it was all about. 7 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms on 3 levels and it was CHEAP. Like, less than $200,000 cheap. That's a lot of house for not a lot of money. I sent an email to a family member/realtor letting her know that if she was ever in the neighborhood and wanted to check it out that I'd go along. She was game.

The address.
We went one evening after work and unfortunately, or fortunately because it let me dream for 24 hours, the power had been shut off. Since winter is rapidly approaching, daylight is a hard commodity to come by which meant we had approximately 12 minutes to run around the house and squint into the darkness to make out the shape of the rooms and the condition of the place. It was mah-ve-lous. (All pictures taken the following day).

The entry way and possible dining room we guessed.
The ceilings were high, the rooms were HUGE, and I started picking out paint colors, dreaming of wood floors, and deciding which wall the piano would go on. I envisioned family functions and family living with me... it does have 7 bedrooms after all. All of this in 12 minutes of dimly-lit exploration. We got really brave and headed to the third floor in the dark. Nothing like going into a 109-year old, vacant house and heading into the unknown. I did shout up to any squatters that might be residing there that we were on our way up and to please make themselves presentable.*** I hadn't even thought of the possibility that there may be
ankle-biting vermin living up there or that maybe the floor wasn't in any condition to be walking on. I was busy dreaming!

One of the 4 booths on the third floor. There is also a bar on this floor....crazy prohibition parties were no doubt thrown here, or the squatters are very handy and into wood-working.
We called the selling agent to get a bit more information (semi short-sale house) and departed for the evening with a plan to meet the next day. I spent the rest of the night drawing the floor plan and trying to convince Craig that this would be a great investment with awesome returns in a few years.**** I laid awake far into the night calculating payments and how much plasma I'd have to donate to make it work. (5*)

The living room. I decided I'd put the Christmas tree in the front corner.
And then the morning came. I met Hilary at lunch with a thousand wheels in my head turning and the house was just as grand in the daylight but it was big... really big. Too big for a single-girl with cats, although it would give me room for more cats. Like a whole shelter-full. It would also, no doubt, give me the reputation as the crazy cat lady who lives alone in the biggest house on the block with her 43 cats.

I'd be up to 3 the instant I moved in.
Kids would play 'Ding Dong Ditch' with my doorbell and claim they saw my silhouette in the third floor window. Not really the direction I'm looking to go in life. Moving on.
The doorbell.
In the daylight we also saw that this big old girl needed more than a few coats of paint and a ripping up of the old carpet to reveal the wood floors beneath. There was the question of the old furnace in the basement, the sloping of the kitchen floors, and the functionality of the goofy bathrooms. How much does it cost to heat 4500 square feet? Are those leaded windows very efficient? Most likely not. What happens if my cats get lost? Alright, enough cat talk.
Like a slowly deflating balloon I saw just how much work it needed and just how much work I didn't want to put into it (not to mention the fact that I don't have THAT much plasma). For goodness sakes I hired my neighbor boy to mow my lawn this summer because I didn't want to do it. She's a beauty of a house and has been a part of our town's history since 1900. She's just not going to be a part of mine. Unless the price drops.
Detail of the little window in the front door. Perfect for spying on which hoodlums are ringing the doorbell and running away.
*Actually, this happens whether or not they're on sale.
**All jewelry purchases are justified as 'investments'.
***I also had a brief vision of someone hitting me in the face in the darkness of the attic but I think that comes from watching too many episodes of Law & Order.
****Or it could be a huge money pit but I'm more of an optimist.
5*That's not true, my parents wouldn't stand for it. They wouldn't go for it in college when I wanted a little extra spending money and no doubt their feelings haven't changed.